Reality sets in

A8FB282B-9892-45AE-B1F5-88904745CC4EMy mom, sitting on the edge of the tub. Dried blood under her nose and chin. Cotton shoved hastily up her nose. Nervously fiddling with her fingernails. She’s not sure if she had a bloody nose but states very confidently to me “I hab codton up my nodes.”

Dad enters the room and says that mom had a bloody nose and wouldn’t quit picking at it so he put the cotton up her nose so she would stop. It worked. You just have to find what works.

“Mom, let’s clean you up and I’ll trim your nails.” I say. Sitting side by side on the edge of the tub chatting like this is normal…just another day. We finish up and I leave her to use the restroom before we head out for her appointment.

Out in the hallway I say, “Dad, she seems a little worse today” Yes, he is frustrated with the medication. It isn’t helping, maybe it is part of the problem. Then he says…”If I’m going to lose her I’d just as soon lose her, not see her live like this.” There it is, out in the open. The thing we think, the thing we hate, the thing that causes shame. And then he cries. For the third time in two weeks to my face, how often alone?

16 thoughts on “Reality sets in”

  1. So, so sorry Jeanneine. I wish I had something helpful to make anything about this easier. Thinking back, a social worker who was there when my dad passed away was really helpful to me with my mom. They know resources and ideas that can help. I wish you the best my friend.

  2. Oh little cousin,I love what your doing with all of this.You make me cry,reminds me and brings back so many things with dad.I love how you are sharing this with everyone.I feel for uncle Seth.Many times I prayed to the lord to take dad home. Hang in there, make sure you take care of you to.Tell uncle hello,love Sheryl Ann.

  3. I am so sorry you and your parents are going through this. I have gone through it as well with my Grandma. Your parents are so blessed to have you! It is so hard, but I can’t help but think of you sitting by your mom taking care of her needs and helping her feel comfort and love from you. God Bless you, Jeannine! I will keep you all in my prayers!

  4. Jeanneine, I could picture you sittin on the edge of the tub with your mom. You are such a blessing to her and your dad. Made me cry. You are an amazing daughter. Hugs to all of you! 💕

  5. Jeanneine, this is beautifully written, a true reality of this journey you are in. This blog will be good therapy for you, and for many who read it. Some of us have traveled this, and some don’t know yet that it lies ahead.
    Love you, and will continue to pray for your strength, humor and love.
    Peace, George. 🙂

  6. I love you Jeanneine. You are being so strong for your mom and dad. Just remember to take care of yourself also. Please let me know if you need anything.

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